artist statement

my memory fails me, slipping away as i attempt to recall it. my mind is not a reliable place to store my moments, so i reconstruct what is missing. through layering, loose mark-making, writing, and mixed media, i document moments without ranking importance, recording what i may forget and filling in the blanks with what feels true. the process of reconstruction becomes a way of discovering alternative truths, reorienting my thought process when my memory loses clarity or i fall too easily into what others think. my work begins in these gaps, where memory, imagination, and instinct begin to merge. 

within those gaps, i encounter a smaller version of myself. i call her aya, derived from my middle name, ayanna. aya is somewhat representative of my younger self, appearing in times of joy, curiosity, fear, and confusion. she helps rebuild the gaps in my memory when it has faded. she shows me what authenticity looks like and encourages me to be unapologetically myself. as i move forward deeper into adulthood, aya becomes even more essential for grounding me, urging me not to conform to expectations or strictness but to return to the freedom i felt as a child. rather than existing in opposition, aya and brea’ coexist always, forming a stable identity through their union. this fluid relationship creates a liminal space between child and adult, where my work and i live.

this coexistence shapes my materials. stickers, crayons, and loose marks express aya’s presence. these tools aid me in representing what i wasn't allowed to communicate as a black, undiagnosed neurodivergent girl in environments centered on discipline and correctness. in contrast, oil paint, photography and more structured techniques are the presentation of brea’, the trained, institutional self who has learned the rules and feels their weight. one of my professors told me, “you’ve learned the rules, now break them.” that advice anchors my practice. it reminds me that while i've absorbed the language of institutions, i still have the responsibility of returning to intuitive knowledge i've developed on my own. combining these materials allows the intuitive and the learned to coexist in the present, mirroring the internal conversation between aya and brea’.

my process embraces the visibility of them both. sketches, notes, and underpainting remain present, allowing the act of reconstruction to be visually digested. i am less focused on accuracy, more focused on honesty, creating a visual language that makes sense of the experiences my memory can no longer hold. i document not to perfect, but to understand. making becomes a way to rebuild myself, form new truths from fragments, and to preserve what memory cannot carry alone. 

my practice is ultimately an ongoing act of self-recovery. by letting all versions of myself speak, i create work that opens space for healing, reconstruction, and the possibility of trusting one’s inner world again.